God's ways surely are not our ways. He shows us in unimaginable ways ourselves and sets up experiences, tests, and trials to bring us to a lesson we need to learn. He will use people we know, we don't know, unexpected encounters, failures, celebrations, relationships failed and succeeded to show us what he desires for us to learn. This year has been a year of all that for me. And within these last few months every prayer that I have prayed to understand things, God has answered and given the the opportunity to learn what He wanted me to learn and also what I desired to learn. I was willing. I didn't always get it the first time He showed it to me, so He brought it to my attention in a new way.
Today, in an unexpected way, I gained strength in an area where I use to feel weak. I realized that I was no longer the person I use to be. I was no longer the person that some thought I would never get away from becoming. Today I realized that I am becoming who God desires for me to be. And what I noticed that the desire that I have for myself, now, lines up with the desire he has for me. One reason is because my desire is Him more than anything. I have always lived my life in pursuit to please people. I never wanted anyone to feel upset and hurt because of me, little did I know that pleasing people left me not pleasing God or myself. I struggled with this for many years. Always having the heart to want everyone to be happy. When you make everyone else happy, that means that something or someone will be unhappy and most likely that person is you.
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