I use to go to church every time the doors were open. I sat in a building, a box, doing routine. When the music cranked up I did too. I ran with the best of them. The best singers, musicians, shouters, high energy-octane praisers, the whole time living a life that was leading me straight to hell. I was worn out, fake, lukewarm, swaying side to side, acting like one thing but living the other.
I was a good person, but Good without God isn't good enough. Works didn't mean nothing, I would have been judged and spewed if I kept on living like I was. Fulfilling my flesh in private and looking righteous in public. I lived a lie. Until one day I felt convicted, I felt low, guilty, and I told God that I was separating myself from the building called church and,
I was a good person, but Good without God isn't good enough. Works didn't mean nothing, I would have been judged and spewed if I kept on living like I was. Fulfilling my flesh in private and looking righteous in public. I lived a lie. Until one day I felt convicted, I felt low, guilty, and I told God that I was separating myself from the building called church and,
"If you're really real, show me who you are yourself, alone, just me and you."
So I stop going to church and I met him every morning, midday and evening in my private time. I studied, I read, I cried, I prayed, and I listened to him speak. I cried for him to reveal himself. A lot of what I was seeing and doing in church wasn't who he showed me he was. It wasn't who he showed me I was suppose to be. He told me I wouldn't inherit the Kingdom! As I began to look around I saw his truth cancel lies. I disconnected myself from things and people and began to seek after his Kingdom, with minimal understanding.
I connected with friends and people that could help me to understand. They helped me to dig deeper, to seek the deepest places of God and I began to line my life up. Everyday has been a step of spiritual growth and maturity, now that His spirit has gotten my private life and public life lining up, I started to go back to church again. I felt so different than before. Not emotionalism, not fake, but a thirst and desire to worship my father, to show him gratitude and learn more about him. So I'm now seeking a church permanently. This journey has been a journey of crucifixion of flesh everyday.
I stopped puppet ministry for a while, teaching, and even children's ministry because God needed to do some things in me. He began speaking his will and purpose for me at the later part of 2015. I began taking it all in, saying yes to Him. You have to be honest with yourself and God about where you are and who you are. He wants to use you, but not in your current condition. You can play church, you can look like a Christian, but God knows the real you and so do you. If I can do it, you can too! We sing songs of surrender and chasing but never really give him all of us! It will be the best and only decision that will impact for life for eternity where reward is promised and fulfilled! ❤ You may loose things and people, and your life won't look popular in the eyes of others, but who cares, you got GOD and that's all that matters in the beginning, middle, and end!
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